I'm Sorry

Have you noticed how celebrities fuck up big time and then think they can erase the damage they've done by saying "I'm sorry"? Remember Mel Gibson's apology to the Jewish community after his drunken anti-semitic tirade? Hey, Mel, you're probably an anti-semite and have a substance-abuse problem. Or how about Ted Haggard apologizing twice for having sex with another man. Hey, Ted, you're Gay and maybe have a substance-abuse problem. Just admit it and stop saying you're sorry. Or Don Imus apologizing for his racial slur about the Rutger's University women's basketball team. Or Michael Richards hurling racial epithets at a Hollywood comedy club and then claiming he's not a racist. (See a list of the top ten according to Time Magazine.) You're both racists; we all are; but most of us keep it under wraps.

The two latest are Christian Bale and Michael Phelps.

In the case of Christian Bale, he went off on a profanity-laced rant last year against an assistant director on the set of Terminator: Salvation, who apparently entered Bale's line of sight while checking a light.

Now, I'm not judging Bale's behavior, but he apparently thinks he can make it all right by simply saying, "I'm sorry."

The case of Michael Phelps pisses me off more. Phelps was photographed smoking dope from a bong at a party. When the photo surfaced and he was chastised by the media and was threatened with the loss of some high-paying sponsors, he apologized. But why?

Phelps is a 23-year-old (kid) who smokes pot. Well, here's a news flash: A lot of 23-year-olds smoke pot. Get over it. But some are saying that Phelps is a role model. For what? And who conferred that status on him? Okay, so he won a record eight gold medals at the Olympics. If that makes him a role model, it should only be for working hard.

So I say to Michael, "Don't apologize. Tell everyone to mind their own business and to get a life and start worrying about the decline of Western Civilization and the human species instead of whether you smoke pot."